I know for a fact that I cannot be the only one that struggles with the myths out there—what we’ve told ourselves and what we’ve heard from other people. A couple I’ve heard and said to myself are, “You’re lazy. You’re not good enough. I wish I was smarter.” The list can go on and on. But I can tell you—those thoughts, and your brain, are lying.
Mental health, even in 2025, is still looked down upon. When I was struggling earlier in life with depression and anxiety—crippling for me—I’d definitely tell myself those things. But the one that I disliked the most, and still do, is “just be happy.” That’s a no-shit, Sherlock. If it were that easy, this world, in general, might be a whole different place.
In this blog, I’m going to go over five myths—lies—we and others have told ourselves. Just remember, we are all in this together, and I love you all!
Myth #1: I Should Be Able to Handle This On My Own
Why We Believe It: Society glorifies independence and grit.
I am so guilty of this one. I’m trying to get better at asking for help when I need it instead of thinking I can just do it all on my own. I don’t like asking for help. I feel like I should be able to do it on my own at 39 years old. I shouldn’t need help when it comes to mental health and other things.
But I can tell you—we should not think like this. Since becoming aware of this mindset, I’ve been actively working on it. After struggling with mental health issues for many years, I don’t think it’s something anyone should go through alone. Whether you talk to a friend or a therapist, reaching out is always beneficial. I tend to think of the worst-case scenario first, so it’s nice to have a more rational perspective when talking with someone. I’ve learned so much—good and bad—just from conversations with others, even about myself.
Remember: There is no shame and no guilt in needing help.
Myth #2: If I Just Try Harder, I’ll Be Happy
Why We Believe It: The toxic positivity trap—“think happy thoughts” and people telling you to just get over it.
COUNTLESS people have told me this, whether their intention was mean or not. It eventually brought me down because I wanted to just be happy. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t be, or what was so wrong with me—especially when I was dealing with depression. I hope this doesn’t sound familiar, but I’m sure some of y’all will resonate with it.
Hearing this over and over when your mind isn’t as strong-willed as you’d like can break you down. For a long time, I really thought I was broken.
But it’s not about just being happy—it’s about finding the tools that help you. For me, crocheting was a huge help in pulling me out of depression. Now, I do diamond paintings, and I have monthly girls’ nights where we get creative. In the end, I get to see the fruits of my labor, so to speak.
If you’re in a dark space, try to find something you enjoy. Read, be creative, work on that car in the garage—the list is endless. It won’t make you happy overnight, but it does help! This is just my experience, though.
What have you found that works for you?
Myth #3: Everyone Else Has It Together
Why We Believe It: Social media and the comparison trap.
This one, too, y’all.
I still struggle not to let this one get me down. As I’ve mentioned before, I feel like I should have more figured out at this age. I’ve been so hard on myself for not being in a better financial, job, or life position. I used to tell myself it was because I was stupid, that I picked the wrong college path, and that I should have done something else, so on and so forth.
But now, I’m more aware of these thoughts and can stop myself—most of the time (gotta be honest).
It can be discouraging to see what others have accomplished, but that doesn’t mean they have it all together. I know I mostly post the good things on social media and rarely the bad. So, I try to remind myself that others are probably doing the same.
If that perspective doesn’t help, try unfollowing certain accounts or taking a social media break.
It won’t be overnight, but you’ve got this!
Myth #4: I’m Broken and Beyond Help
Why We Believe It: Negative self-talk and stigma.
You probably already know what I’m gonna say—another one I’ve struggled with. On my bad days, I definitely think this. I start thinking why would anyone want me, what am I good for, too much has happened to me for any sort of normalcy... I could go on.
While writing this blog, I looked up “When was mental health taken seriously in the U.S.?” There was no single clear answer, for me anyways. Some sources say 1908 (Grob, 1991), while others mention 1963 when the Community Mental Health Act was signed by President Kennedy (Mental Health America, n.d.). For me, growing up in the ‘90s, it still felt like mental health was iffy at best. I didn’t even know I had ADHD as a kid—but looking back, I can definitely see that I did.
We are not broken. We are not beyond help. One song that hits me hard is Jelly Roll’s Save Me. Even though I don’t deal with everything he talks about in the song, I still relate to it. Reading and listening about his struggles through his music, is inspiring.
When those negative thoughts creep in—tell them to go away. Nicely or not. We are not beyond repair.We deserve happiness just as much as the next person!
Myth #5: It’s Selfish to Focus on Myself
Why We Believe It: Cultural pressure to put others first.
As a people-pleaser (who’s working on getting better), I FEEL this one. I think it goes all the way back to childhood. I want people to like me. I know not everyone will, and that’s okay.
I always thought that if everyone around me was happy, I’d be happy. But that’s not the case. Putting all your energy into others and not yourself will lead to burnout.
Self-care is major. Read that book, crochet, get in the garage, go for a ride—do something for YOU!
Breaking Free From Myths
Recognizing these myths is the first step to breaking free. I still struggle with them, but I know I’m in a better place than I was.
What’s one mental health myth you’ve believed? Or which one resonated most with you? Let me know in the comments or over on Instagram @shiftingthruchaos!
I love you all!!
Citations
- Grob, G. N. (1991). The Origins of American Psychiatric Epidemiology. American Journal of Public Health, 81(6), 878-889. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2408392/
- Mental Health America. (n.d.). Our History. https://mhanational.org/our-history
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