Real Stories, Real Insights

There have been many moments in my life where I've wondered, "What's wrong with me?" On paper, everything looks great, but applying that to real life? That's a whole different story.​

Here I am, almost 40 years old, working in a local vape shop, still trying to figure out who I am. A good portion of my adult life has been spent searching for the answer to that question and honestly, I still don’t really know.

It seems like this year is going well for me, but I still feel constantly overwhelmed. If it's not one thing, it's another, and it makes me feel overstimulated. My emotions sit right on the surface when I’m overwhelmed—something I realized while writing this. The littlest thing can make me go "grrrr." And honestly, I get a bit annoyed at myself for it. But hey, I’m learning.

Life can be a mess. Some days, it feels like everything is on fire, and you’re just standing there, coffee in one hand, wondering if you should bother grabbing a fire extinguisher or just roast some marshmallows. In times like that, comfort matters. Whether it’s food, clothes, or just the softest blanket ever, having those go-to items can make all the difference.

Alrighty y'all. Mindful and positive self-talk is something I still struggle with — and honestly, admitting that feels embarrassing. I know damn well I’d never let my friends talk to themselves the way I talk to myself, so why do I still allow it? Trauma, probably.

I know for a fact that I cannot be the only one that struggles with the myths out there—what we’ve told ourselves and what we’ve heard from other people. A couple I’ve heard and said to myself are, “You’re lazy. You’re not good enough. I wish I was smarter.” The list can go on and on. But I can tell you—those thoughts, and your brain, are lying.

Sticking with the theme of self-love and self-care, I wanted to have a bit of fun with this one. We can learn a lot from our critters.

When we think of Valentine's Day, we usually think of cutesy couple things, right? In this age, maybe not so much—but let’s change the narrative anyway. Let’s take February 14th as an opportunity for self-love instead (which, let’s be real, we should be practicing year-round… haha).

"I'll never be good enough." It's something I still struggle with, and I find it annoying that it still affects me, but I guess that's why I’m here with y’all as well! Haha. There’s a lot that can contribute to this type of thinking, and I’m still learning new things every day. I’m pretty damn confident it stems from childhood to early adulthood. I can tell you I was very co-dependent. I went from living at home (in a very remote area with little social interaction outside of school) to living with a roommate, and then getting married at 18. I hadn’t lived on my own until I got divorced. Some of these things I didn’t realize until after. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, but I believe it started in childhood and progressed into adulthood. Now, I’m nearing middle age and still figuring it out...woohoo. Hahaha.

Self-care is one of those things that everyone says is important, but if you have ADHD, it can feel like yet another thing you’re failing at. (So fun, right?) The idea of “self-care” can seem overwhelming or unattainable, especially if your brain is already juggling what feels like a hundred other thoughts at once. But here’s the thing: self-care doesn’t have to be some elaborate spa day or a perfect morning routine straight out of a Pinterest board. It can be small, simple things that bring you joy and help you recharge your batteries!

We’ve all been there: the to-do list grows longer, the responsibilities pile up, and suddenly you’re stuck in that awful state of overwhelm, where even deciding what to eat feels impossible. Seriously, fuck, I’ve been here so many times it could be my second address.

If you have ADHD, you've probably experienced the overwhelming joy (insert sarcastic emoji here) of setting goals that, in theory, sound pretty damn perfect—but somehow never get quite done. Whether it's a TO-DO list that seems to get longer instead of shorter or an ambitious New Year's resolution that fizzles out by the end of January, goal-setting can feel like an uphill battle with the summit nowhere in sight.