Lost and Found: My Self-Discovery Journey with ADHD

Looking Back: The Early Signs of Uncertainty

One memory that has happened to stick with me is being a senior in high school at an assembly where they asked, “What do you want to be?” I listened to my classmates share their dreams, so confident in what they wanted to do, while I sat there, completely unsure. I think I said "a secretary," just to have an answer because I was not sure at all.

At that time, I had planned to attend a state college, but then my focus shifted to Wyotech. I loved cars, even though I knew nothing about engines. I figured it was a trade that would always be needed. But then, life happened. I met my now ex-husband, and by the time I was almost 19 I was married.

Degrees, Loss, and Feeling Stuck

By the age of 24, both of my parents had passed away. Their deaths took a huge toll on me and somehow I kept pushing forward. I had already started my associate's degree before my dad passed, then spent another five years earning:

• A Bachelor's in Mass Communication and Journalism
• A Master's in Teaching and Learning with Technology

Sounds pretty fucking impressive, right? On paper, sure. But in reality, for a long time, they felt like just fancy degrees—symbols of effort with no real direction.

Then came my 30s: pregnancy, motherhood, and divorce. Life took *another* turn, and suddenly, I felt back at square one, even though I was in my self-discovery journey at that point.

Reentering the Workforce with ADHD (But Not Knowing It Yet)

I hadn’t worked since 2007 or 2008, so reentering the workforce in 2020—what I like to refer as the“mask era”—was a bit overwhelming. I quickly realized that I needed to be interested in my work to stay engaged. Even before my self-diagnosis, I knew certain jobs drained me faster than others and made me feel pretty dumb, won’t lie there. Haha.

Now, I work at a vape shop. It’s chill. I don’t go home feeling overstimulated or overwhelmed. But deep down, I know there's more in me. I just haven’t figured out how to fully tap into it yet.

And some days? I feel completely unaccomplished. I question whether I wasted all those years in school. I do wonder if I’m not smart enough because I never "used" my degrees the way I thought I should. But in all reality, I’d say now that with my blogging and social media marketing, those degrees have helped me more than I thought, just not in the way I thought.

The ADHD Realization & The Struggle to Accept Myself

For most of my adult life, I thought I was just dealing with anxiety and depression. I tried different medications, dosages always increasing, but they’d only work for so long before I’d crash back into that same frustrating cycle.

Then, almost two years ago, after someone close to me was diagnosed with ADHD, I started researching. And suddenly, everything clicked. The struggles, the impulsivity, the difficulty following through—it wasn’t just anxiety or depression. It was ADHD.

For years, I wondered why I was still struggling despite "getting help." Why was I failing when I was doing everything I was supposed to? The truth is, you can’t fix a problem if you don’t know what the real problem is. And that right there has been at the forefront of my mind whenever I feel like getting down on myself.

Learning to Accept My ADHD & My Journey

Now, I’m trying to accept myself for who I am—not just the parts that feel easy to love, but the parts I’ve been conditioned to see as failures. I didn’t know I had ADHD, and now I have to forgive myself for all the times I was too hard on myself because of it.

Having ADHD doesn’t make me a failure.

It doesn’t make me dumb.
It doesn’t mean I’m incapable of success.

It just means my journey looks different.

And that’s okay.

I’m learning to love myself through the struggles, not just in the moments of success. Healing and growth aren’t easy. There’s still a lot to work through, and I won’t pretend otherwise. But I take it day by day, knowing that I don’t have to be perfect.

Because perfection was and never should the goal—growth and being a good person is.

Final Thoughts: A Call to Anyone on a Similar Journey

If you’ve ever felt lost, unaccomplished, or like you’re just floating through life without direction—I see you. I am you.

We’re not failures just because our paths look different.

So, keep showing up. Keep learning. And most importantly, let’s keep giving ourselves grace.

What’s one thing you’ve had to unlearn about yourself to finally accept who you are? Drop a comment—I’d love to hear your story.